Christmas Kisses Page 2

  Em. His childhood nickname for me. Had he even noticed he’d used it?

  “Marley says that it’s a cultural bias that we don’t have to keep investing in if we don’t want,” I whispered.

  “Marley may consider herself an ambassador between the Tauria witches and the Tauria dragons, but she has no business filling your head with nonsense about other clans.” Orlando spoke through gritted teeth, his face set with resentment. “The bias is there for a good reason. We can’t have dragons leaving their clans. You could never be other than Tauria. You hated being an only child, imagine being a child with a Tauria dragon for a mother and Ariesian for a father. He wouldn’t know where he belonged, and the loneliness and sense of isolation would be crippling. Neither clan would treat him as one of them.”

  “Oh, maybe if he was brought up with a bunch of stiff-necked, snotty Ariesians.” I glared at him, hating him so much for a moment it was as if I were heavy as lead. “The Tauria clan would welcome him.”

  “If he were blue when he shifted to dragon,” Orlando said, and damn him, he was right. “But not if he shifted into a red dragon. And the Ariesian parent would never be accepted by the Tauria. Ever. So why would you even consider such a thing? Would you really want your husband to be despised by everyone around him?”

  “Everyone hated Marley when she first married Donovan, but now everyone loves her,” I said.

  Orlando smiled at me pityingly. “I’m no diplomatic witch, Em. I’m a stiff-necked, snotty bastard as you’ve pointed out several times tonight. I don’t have the social skills to attempt to fit in. Nor would my pride allow me to even try.”

  “You give up so easily. You gave up on me without any struggle at all. That night at the Christmas party you promised you’d make them accept us being together. You swore. And two days later you looked at me as if I were dirt beneath your shoe. And you’ve looked at me the same way ever since. You faithless bastard.” I pressed my palms to my eyes to keep the tears from burning down my cheeks.

  “I was fourteen,” he grated.

  I lowered my hands to find him staring at me as if willing me to see it from his side. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

  “How could I fight my whole clan when I wasn’t even allowed to fly by myself?”

  “You probably didn’t even try to stand up to them,” I scoffed.

  His eyes flared with anger. “Who’s the faithless one now? Were you there? Are you so confident I didn’t try? If you are, you never believed in us in the first place. Or me. Argue your way out of that.”

  I swallowed against a huge lump in my throat. “I’m sorry.”

  “Are you?” The fury in his voice sent tingles down my spine. He swept his hand through his hair again. “I don’t think you are actually. I didn’t see you trying to convince your clan that we deserved a chance together.”

  “I…” My cheeks burned. “I was waiting for you to see what happened with your clan.”

  “Because you didn’t care enough,” he accused.

  “Because I was scared!” I cried. “I was terrified. You know my parents. You know how they are. My father would have laughed at me, and my mother would have blown up in a huge rage and made a big production out of everything. I didn’t want to risk that.”

  “But you expected me to.” His jaw jutted. “My mother wasn’t exactly the indulgent type. I was never good enough in her eyes. Everything I did was wrong.”

  “I thought you were the apple of her eye.”

  A bitter smile flashed across his face. “That’s what I always tried to project anyway.”

  “Weren’t you?” I bit my lip.

  “No.” Bitterness twisted his mouth. “She didn’t want children. She never married my father, and she treated me like a resented obligation.”

  He shook his head and sighed. “She hated you, Em. All those years we were friends, she constantly lectured me and punished me for not having Ariesian friends. Can you imagine her reaction when I told her I was falling in love with you?”

  “She punished you?” Aghast, I stretched out a hand to touch his arm. He jerked away at the touch as if I’d burned him. Shame flooded my body, and I clenched my hands into fists in my lap and bowed my head.

  “Every day,” he admitted roughly. “But I found the courage somewhere inside to ignore her.”

  “Except when it came to loving me.” Tears choked me.

  “Em, she swore if I went forward with our relationship, she’d hurt you. Go to the Councils, shame us both before all the clans. I didn’t care if I were shamed, but I couldn’t bear to think of your light and joy dimming. I didn’t want to be selfish. I wanted the best for you. Why have you never seen that?” Orlando’s voice cracked as if he were fighting tears, too.

  “Because you were so cruel to me. You laughed at me. Made fun of me. Looked at me like I was scum.” I wiped teardrops from my scalding cheeks before they could stain my dress. “Made me feel like I wasn’t good enough anymore for you. How did you not think that wouldn’t hurt me?”

  “I was fourteen,” he said with a sigh. “Boys aren’t men. They don’t always know how to handle situations like that.”

  “You’ve been treating me like I was beneath you for years. We’re adults now, as you said before. The man treats me the same as the boy did.” I glared up at him, filled with shaky rage. “And I hate you both!”

  For a brief moment anguish consumed his face, then his expression hardened into a stern mask. “And you would argue that the clans could be persuaded to accept us, when you can’t even look at me without loathing? Do you see why this cultural bias, as your witch calls it, is a good thing? A protective thing?”

  “That’s a convenient lie we all like to pretend is the truth, but it’s not.” I dashed the last of the tears from my face. “Or, it doesn’t have to be. Not if we were strong enough to fight it.”

  Orlando studied me for a moment as if measuring my maturity and concluding I was lacking it. “But we’re not, are we?”

  “We’re not fourteen anymore,” I gritted through my teeth. “We could be strong if we wanted to be. You just don’t want to be.”

  His mouth tightened. “You so effortlessly speak for me. It’s easy to hide behind me to avoid thinking about yourself, isn’t it?”

  He strode to the edge of the sparkling shield, his shoulders tight with suppressed anger. “This damned force field. Hasn’t it been an hour yet?”

  “I doubt it’s been more than twenty minutes,” I said, watching him as he kept his back to me.

  He clenched his fists and held them stiffly to his sides. “I can’t stand this. I can’t bear any more of being with you. It’s killing me.” He spun around. “Doesn’t that make you glad? That you can make me so angry I see everything through a veil of fiery red?”

  “Not particularly,” I said. “But if it’s any consolation, I wish I were dead right now. Anything’s preferable than being with you.”

  A harsh laugh burst from his throat. “A moment ago you were convinced we could be strong enough to face down the clans together. Now you’d rather be dead than be with me. Oh, Em, can’t you see how mismatched we are and always would be?”

  “I wish I could,” I admitted, knotting my fingers together and squeezing hard as I could. Physical pain might distract me from the emotional turmoil churning inside me “Only all I know is that every time I’ve seen you for the past ten years, I’ve wished so hard we could figure out a way to make things work.”

  He sucked in an audible breath. “Even tonight after examining all our faults and failures beneath this stupid clump of mistletoe?”

  “Especially after tonight,” I whispered. “You haven’t spoken to me as if I mattered since we were in school together.”

  “Em.” The torture in his voice shook me to my core. “Don’t do this. We can’t do this. We can’t and you know it.”

  “No.” I rose shakily to my feet. “That’s just what I don’t know. We have precious time here tonight, Lan.” My voice soft
ened as I allowed myself to use his nickname. “Time alone where nobody can see us, no matter how hard they try. And we’re standing here wasting it arguing instead of making the most of it.”

  Somehow I crossed the floor, erasing the distance between us, and I wrapped my arms around his waist so I could bury my face in his back.

  “I’ve never stopped loving you, and you’ve always known that, haven’t you?”

  “Em!” He turned so that we faced each other and placed his palms on my cheeks, forcing me to look up at him. “I wanted you to hate me. Why can’t you hate me?”

  “Because I can’t.” Tears coursed down my cheeks, and he wiped them away with his thumbs. “And you can’t hate me either. Admit it.”

  “Damn you,” he cursed, before savagely kissing me, tearing the breath from my lungs. The towering wave of his longing crashed into me, stealing the strength from my legs so I sagged against him. “Damn you, Emily.” He continued to kiss me as he spoke, his voice ragged with passion. “Damn you for not letting go of us.”

  “You never let go either. Not all the way,” I whispered into his mouth, kissing him back with all my strength.

  So consumed with thwarted hunger for each other, we failed to notice that the sparkling force field shielding us from the rest of world abruptly flickered out leaving us exposed to everyone at the party.

  The first I realized anything was different was when I heard my mother, Val, shriek my name in tones of abject horror.

  “Oh, damn,” Orlando said softly, and with great regret. “Em, I thought you said it hadn’t even been half an hour yet.”

  “I guess magical time flies even faster than regular.” I huddled against Orlando’s side as his arm encircled my waist.

  “Get your filthy Tauria hands off my son!” screamed Orlando’s mother, Christine, her voice full of disgusted hatred.

  “Who are you calling filthy, you Ariesian bitch?” My mother hollered, and charged at Orlando’s mother, her fingers hooked into claws.

  My father shot me a dangerously furious look promising future unpleasantness before grabbing the back of Mother’s emerald green gown to keep her from starting a war between clans.

  A few feet away from them, Marley stood beside Donovan, her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide with horror.

  “Happy now, you stupid witch?” Orlando shouted at her, perhaps galvanized by our mothers’ anger. His amber eyes danced with wrath. “See what your bloody magic has wrought? Not exactly a moment of peace and connection like you thought, is it? Spare me from people who don’t think things through!”

  I wrenched away from him, my own temper igniting. “Don’t you dare call her a stupid witch! She’s not stupid! She was only trying to help. Don’t be so ungrateful!”

  Orlando’s mouth dropped open. “You told her about us, didn’t you? You planned this together. Chasing one of her kids, my ass. You trapped us together on purpose to force things between us!”

  “Of course I told her about us. She’s my friend!” I shrieked, stamping a foot in a vain attempt to diffuse my rage. “But I meant she was trying to help all of the clans. You’re so conceited you really think we’re the only two people from different clans who ended up beneath the mistletoe magic together? I told you she thinks the way we segregate ourselves is bullshit. Don’t you even listen to me?”

  “I might be able to listen if my ears weren’t bleeding thanks to the shrill volume of your harpy voice!” Orlando yelled at me.

  “I’m not the only one who’s shouting,” I pointed out, my voice cold as ice.

  Marley lowered her hands so she could speak to us. Her eyes dark and full of hope, she said, “Look around. See how that Libran woman is standing next to that Geminisus woman? Up until a few moments ago, they were talking. Like friends. You know why? Because they were trapped beneath the mistletoe just like you two were. And that Aquarian man having a beer with that Picean? They spent an hour under the mistletoe, too.”

  Marley shot Val and Christine a hard look. “You two wouldn’t be fighting now if your mothers hadn’t overreacted.”

  Val and Christine glared back at Marley, and everyone seemed to hold their breaths, waiting to see who would break eye contact first.

  Donovan growled low under his breath, but the sound carried. Blowing out her breath with exaggerated irritation, my mother dropped her gaze. Christine curled her lip, but looked away, her haughty face white with fury.

  Marley turned her attention to Orlando and me. “Well? Answer me. Would you be fighting if not for your mothers?” She placed her hands on her hips. Stern as she tried to appear, her three-year old twins hanging from her red and gold spangled skirts softened her appearance. Their eyes, green as their father’s, stared solemnly at me. They weren’t used to hearing me shout.

  Shame engulfed me.

  “No,” I whispered. I turned to Orlando. His expression wavered between incredulous anger and reluctant amusement.

  I plucked at his sleeve to get his attention. “I’m sorry. I hate shouting at you.”

  A smile quirked his lips. “Liar.” He winked at me, and when he wrapped his arm around my waist, I melted into him.

  “Orlando, you let go of that little bitch and get over here,” his mother ordered imperiously.

  “You call my daughter one more name, and I’m not holding my wife back anymore,” my father vowed, his eyes steely. “Do you really want to turn this Christmas party into a riot?”

  “I want my son to leave your daughter alone,” Christine declared, her face pinched with outrage. “Did you not see them flagrantly kissing? He’s Ariesian. She’s Tauria. It’s disgusting, and you know you agree with me.”

  “Ten years ago I thought it was disgusting that my best friend married a witch. People’s perceptions can change,” my father said. “Maybe we ought to give the kids a chance. If it really is so disgusting, they’ll break up, and instead of mooning around after each other and being miserable, they’ll be able to move on.”

  “The sooner the better as far as I’m concerned.” Christine looked down her nose at us as if she smelled something horrible. “You may be right, Rab. It’ll never work, will it?”

  “I sure as hell hope not,” my father said with a broad grin. “Right, Val? We know better by now to fight Marley when she’s got an idea, so let’s let it run its course. What have we got to lose?”

  “We might end up with Ariesian grandchildren is what we’ve got to lose, you idiot!” Mother snapped, struggling to break his grip on her gown.

  “You’d be lucky if that happened,” Christine said, eyes flashing. She shuddered as if she’d been plunged into a vat of crawling insects. “What’s terrifying is if I end up with Tauria grandchildren.”

  “Oh, for the love of hell. We haven’t even slept together, and already you people are talking about grandchildren.” Orlando raised his eyebrows as he stared at our parents. “Will you just relax for one damn minute please?”

  “We are putting the cart before the horse here, I guess,” Father said with another laugh. His smile turned into a terrifying scowl as he narrowed his eyes at Orlando, “But you better damn well treat her right. If there’s any breaking up to do, and I devoutly hope there is, you let her do the breaking. If anyone’s heart is going to shatter over this, it’s going to be yours, got me?”

  To his credit, Orlando held my father’s gaze without blinking. His own eyes sparked with anger, but his tone was civil enough as he said, “That sounds reasonable.” He drew a deep breath before continuing in a voice full of resolve. “But if you think we’re breaking up, think again. I’ve waited a decade for this opportunity, and I’m not going to let her get away again.”

  Every dragon from every clan had their attention riveted to us. Why must we play our drama out in front everybody? I nudged Orlando a few feet to the right, and he moved, his gaze fixed on my father’s face.

  “This is a party, you know,” I raised my voce to be heard. “Why can’t most of you mind your own business and star
t celebrating rather than stare at us?”

  “A Tauria and an Ariesian,” someone in the crowd muttered. “What under Zodiac Mountain is this world coming to?”

  “A long overdue change for the better I hope,” Marley declared. “There’s no reason why the clans have to be so snobbish. You’re all dragons, aren’t you? You have hides and wings and breathe fire. Why do you persistent in thinking you’re so different?”

  “Because it’s always been that way,” someone answered.

  I continued to gently push Orlando to the right.

  “What a dumb answer,” someone else sneered.

  Laughter erupted from the crowd.

  “Just a couple more inches,” I said, then looked up. Orlando did too, and smiled broadly at the mistletoe as the force field shimmered to life around us.

  “Now tell me how much you hate witch magic.” I snuggled into Orlando’s arms and buried my face in his neck. He smelled of warm chocolate mixed with dark wine.

  “Marley’s a powerful witch if she can effect such profound change in so short a space of time. Was it her magic that prompted us to talk together tonight? Apart from simply the force field isolating us within it?” Orlando placed a gentle kiss on my head.

  “I don’t think so,” I replied. “She said she wanted to create sacred space for people to talk out their grievances or to discover commonalities. Nothing we said was magically prompted. It’s really us and how we feel.”

  “She’s a wise witch.” Orlando lifted my chin with his fingers so we could stare into each other’s eyes. “But her magic won’t always shield us. We won’t be able to easily escape the censure and disapproval from our families and clans. I’ll ask you again. Do you really think we’re strong enough to withstand them?”

  “Some of them are already on our side,” I told him. “Besides, I am not about to eat crow in front of my father. He’ll never let me live it down. We’re going to stay together, Lan, I can feel it.”